Funny SMS

Highlight of the year 2050….!!!

1. Rajnikant in Dhoom 22.

2. Golmaal 15 is ready for release.

3. I will play the next world cup – Sachin Tendulkar.

4. Shahid & Saif attended Kareena’s 8th wedding.

5. Petrol – Rs 1984/ litre.

Every Girl Wants A Guy

Who Hugs Her When They're Watching A Scary Or Romantic Movie,

Who Gives Her His Jacket Even When He Himself Is Feeling Cold,

Who Will Always Be The One To Make Her Laugh,

Most Importantly He Will Love Her For Who She Is !

That Guy Is What Google Calls "No Result Found" ..!! :) :D

A Perfect Girl Doesn't Bother...

Doesn't Shout.. Doesn't Flirt With Others..

Doesn't Lies.. Doesn't Cheat..

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And Doesn't ExiSts.. :D :D

Zindagi ki race mein agar sab se 1st aana chahte ho to..

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Uska ek hi secret hai

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Kisi ko batana mat plz

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Akele bhago. 

I chased love i found friendship,

I chased desires i found hopes,

I chased reality i found dreams,

I chased a monkey and i found u

Imagine Life without Girls

-All theater silent

-Police at rest

-Mobile companies in loss

-Gift shop in loss

All boys were university topper.

Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!

similarity between FACEBOOK & JAIL:

In both case people sit, waste time and writes on walls!

:-)

Question by a student !!

If a single teacher can't

teach us all the subjects,

Then...

How could you expect a single student

to learn all subjects ?

*Love b4 Marriage*

Janu...tum nahe to mei nahe,

mei nahe to tum nahe...

*Love after Marriage*

"baghairta"...Aj tu nahe ya me nahe

Girl:How much do you love me?

Boy:My heart is a mobile and you are its SIM

Girl:Ooh God.. I am soo lucky..

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She doesn't know that my mobile is dual sim :P

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG,

is HONEST.

A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,

is WISE.

A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT,

is a HUSBAND.!

10yr Income: Teachr-25lakh Engg-50lakh IAS-70L Dr-1cr Nirmal baba-238cr Ramdev baba-1177cr satya sai-4000cr CHOOSE CAREER CAREFULLY......Tyago ghar baar Chalo HARIDWAR

To all the girls who wear a lot of make-up:

Take it easy, it's a face & not a coloring book

If Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook were all school subjects, my parents would be so proud of me!

Which is the 27th letter of English alphabets?

...

..

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Are you looking for an answer?

...

..

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Very Good!

Which school beta? .

Technology kya hai?

Ek time wo tha

jab log msg kabutar se bhejte the..

ek aaj ka time hai

hum msg

kabutaro ko bhej rahe hai..!!

hurr hurr..

The best example for incredible india is:

One has to check both sides

while crossing even a one-way road..!!

A Boy texts a girl

Boy: Hey!

Girl: Hi! What u doing?

Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.

Girl: Aww How cute!

Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U!

Some people say never forget me.

Some people say always remember me.

but i love my attitude,

so..

I will say

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Forget ME if u can..!!

A Beggar Found Rs. 100/-

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He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner...

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Bill Rs. 3000/-

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He Was Unable To Pay!!!

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Manager Handed Him To Police!!!

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He Gave Rs. 100/- To Policeman & Free!!!

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Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA..!!!

Don’t try to Understand

a Girl Completely,

If you do……

You either Go Mad..

The Only Thing That University

Teaches Us During Serious Lessons Is. .

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....

Texting Without Looking

GIRLZ OF 1995*

"AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM"

GIRLZ OF 2007*

AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM

6 Things are God Gifted

1. Mom’s Love

2. Dad’s Advice

3. Bro’s Fights

4. Sister’s Care

5. True Love

6. ??

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ME

Kyun ki har 1 friend jaruri hai Yaar.

Santa calls up "white house"

Santa: "I want to be the next president of USA"

Obama: "Are you an idiot??"

Santa: "Why??

is it Compulsory???"

Terrorible English by School P.T sir:

1.There is no wind in the football.

2.I talk,he talk, Why you middle talk?

3.You rotate the ground four times.

4.You go 'n understnd the tree.

5. I'll give you clap.

6. Bring your parents with Your Mom 'n Dad

7.Why Haircut not cut?

Height of coolness:

2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....

1st guy:which paper was it?

2nd guy:I think maths......

1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?

2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>

3 Important Stages Of Life...

Before Marriage- 'MAD For Each Other'

During Marriage- 'MADE For Other'

After Marriage- 'MAD Because Of Each Other'.. !

A

B

C

D

A-AATRACTIVE

B-BEST

C-CUTE

D-DEAR 2 ME

E

F

G

E-EXCELENT

F-funny

G-GOOD LOOKING

H

I

J

H- HA HA HA

I- I M

J- JOKING

Hey Fill Up The Blanks :-

Your Name_______

Percentage In SSC_____%

Gender_____

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Now Read 'Only' The Answers..! :D :D ;) :P

The "BALL" can escape from "BAT"

The "RAT" can escape from "CAT"

But "U" and "UR" Dabba Mobile cannot escape from my "SMS"....

_/\_(**)_/\_

HaHaHa......

When men calls you hot, they r looking at your body...

When men calls you pretty, they r looking at your face...

When men calls you gorgeous, they r looking at your clothes...

But when they call you beautiful,,,

They are Lying....... :)  :D  :-[

Love is Docomo, do the New.

Mariage is idea

can change Ur life

Wife is Hutch, where ever you go she folows

But

Frienship is Airtel 1atut bandhan

swami vivekananda quotes

"We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be shaped by our present actions; so we have to know how to act."

“What ever you think, that you will be. If you think yourself weak, weak you will be; if you think yourself strong; strong you will be.”

“Stand and die in your own strength; if there is any sin in the world, it is weakness; avoid  all weakness, for weakness is sin, weakness is death.”

“All the power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that; don’t believe that you are weak. Stand up and express the divinity within you.”

"The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free."

"You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul."

"Why are people so afraid? The answer is that they have made themselves helpless and dependent on others. We are so lazy, we do not want to do anything ourselves. We want a Personal God, a Savior or a Prophet to do everything for us."

"Have faith in Guru, in his teachings, and in the surety that you can get free. Think day and night that this universe is zero, only God is. Have intense desire to get free."

"BY the study of different RELIGIONS we find that in essence they are one."

“Your country requires heroes; be heroes; your duty is to go on working, and then everything will follow of itself.”

“He is an atheist who does not believe in himself. The old religion said that he was an atheist who does not believe in God. The new religion says that he is an atheist who does not believe in himself.”

Hold to the idea, “I am not the mind, I see that I am thinking, I am watching my mind act,” and each day the identification of yourself with thoughts and feelings will grow less, until at last you can entirely separate yourself from the mind and actually know it to be apart from yourself.

"There is hope for all. None can die; none can be degraded forever. Life is but a playground, however gross the play may be. However we may receive blows, and however knocked about we may be, the Atman is there and is never injured. We are that Infinite."

"You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself."

"The Vedanta recognizes no sin it only recognizes error. And the greatest error, says the Vedanta is to say that you are weak, that you are a sinner, a miserable creature, and that you have no power and you cannot do this and that."

"Never think there is anything impossible for the soul. It is the greatest heresy to think so. If there is sin, this is the only sin; to say that you are weak, or others are weak."

"If you want to have life, you have to die every moment for it. Life and death are only different expressions of the same thing looked at from different standpoints; they are the falling and the rising of the same wave, and the two form one whole. "

"Bless people when they revile you. Think how much good they are doing by helping to stamp out the false ego. Hold fast to the real Self. Think only pure thoughts, and you will accomplish more than a regiment of mere preachers. Out of purity and silence comes the word of power."

"Be strong! Don’t talk of ghosts and devils. We are the living devils. The sign of life is strength and growth. The sign of death is weakness. Whatever is weak, avoid! It is death. If it is strength, go down into hell and get hold of it! There is salvation only for the brave."

"Let each one of us pray day and night for the downtrodden millions, who are held fast by poverty, priestcraft, and tyranny. Pray day and night for them. I care more to preach religion to them than to the high and the rich. I am no metaphysician, no philosopher, nay, no saint. But I am poor and I love the poor."

"Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced."

“Comfort” is no test of truth; on the contrary, truth is often far from being “comfortable.”

"Renunciation is the very basis of our true life. Every moment of goodness and real life that we enjoy is when we do not think of ourselves."

"The less passion there is, the better we work. The calmer we are the better for us and the more the amount of work we can do. When we let loose our feelings, we waste so much energy, shatter our nerves, disturb our minds, and accomplish very little work."

”The nature of the brutes is to remain where they are, of human beings to seek good and avoid evil, and of God to neither seek nor avoid but just to be blissful eternally. Let us be like God.”

“TO worship God even for the sake of salvation or any other reward is equally degenerate. Love knows no reward. Give your love unto to God, but do not ask anything in return even from Him through pray.”

“It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thought make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. First, believe in this world, that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you do not understand it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!”

“Stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creator of your own destiny. All the strength and succor you want is within yourself. Therefore make your own future.”

“There is no help for you outside of yourself; you are the creator of the universe. Like the silkworm you have built a cocoon around yourself…. Burst your own cocoon and come out aw the beautiful butterfly, as the free soul. Then alone you will see Truth.”